Ancient Drums

copyright 2010 by Stefan Bolz

I have had a slight ringing in my left ear for a while. Also a sense that my ear was somehow clogged up at times. I went to a doctor who looked into it and didn't see an infection or anything atypical. I spoke to my friend Elke about it who is a hypno-therapist and spiritual counselor. We agreed to do a phone session to see if we could find out a little more about it. Elke's main work is with the unconscious mind and how it speaks to us through symbols, images, etc.

We first did a simple meditation with the goal for me to calm down and go inward. She then asked me where in my body, other than in the ear itself, I felt the 'ear problem'. I felt that it was located somewhere in my stomach. I saw it as a round cylindrical hole in my stomach area. From it a red light pulsated in a slow rhythm, not unlike a deep drum. Similar to the sound of a sonar but much lower, deeper and - for lack of a better word - older. "Ancient" was another word that came to mind. The pulsating light created waves that went through my body. The waves were neither uncomfortable nor painful.

When I described this to Elke she asked me to try to see this image outside of myself and no longer inside of me. First, I saw a holographic image of my body standing about 3 feet in front of me.  I saw the round hole and pulsating red light. I didn't want to move the image further away from me and wasn't sure why until I suddenly realized that I was afraid I would lose this deep, ancient, rhythmic drumming sound. As I thought about why I was afraid to lose it, the hologram changed and laid down flat in front of me. One pulsating light became two, then three, four, ten, until a row of lights extended from me all the way to the horizon and into infinity. "Like a homing beacon", I thought.

Elke asked me how it felt and I answered that it felt very reassuring, like an ancient beam of a light house showing the path for sailors lost in the fog. There was no question in my mind that this was the path that would lead me home. I had a sense of 'ancientness' when I looked at the path and listened to the drum. As if this path had been there even before time was. The low drum penetrated to the very depth of my soul, as it seemed. The next question was if the image wanted to tell me something. After a while I heard just two words: "Follow me". I felt a deep sense of being loved - with the love emanating from the beacon towards me. When Elke asked me what the beam needed from me, I answered that the only thing it needed from me was to listen to it. It was clear to me that it didn't really need it for itself but for my sake.

I realized that even though my feet were on the path, there was a traffic sign pole I held on to with one hand. I didn't really move. There is a difference between seeing a path in front of oneself and taking the step and  actually walking it. Elke asked me to let it go and when I did it felt as if I was gently pulled by an invisible string, almost as if walking on a horizontal escalator, like the ones in airports. It was completely effortless to follow the drums and lights. I thought for a moment that in the beginning of ones spiritual journey, we are most likely motivated by pain, pushed by our pain to go on a different path, to change our thinking, our values, etc. Pain pushes us to escape from it, to find a better way. During the journey, our motivation slowly changes. At a certain point on the path we are no longer being pushed by our pain but rather we are being pulled by love, our destination.

That thought brought me to another: As love is the goal of the journey, then the path to love must be connected, joined with it. Through the path, the beacon, I was connected to my destination at all times during the journey. A quote from A Course in Miracles comes to mind while I write this: "Our Love awaits us as we go to Him, and walks beside us, showing us the way. He fails in nothing. He the end we seek, and He the means by which we come to Him." [W-L.302]

[Elke's email address is creativemindhypnosis@yahoo.com. She works in Florida around the Del Ray Beach area]

Ready?

Copyright 2009 by Stefan Bolz
I walk barefoot on a deserted beach along the edge of the water. The sun sits golden on its surface covering it like a blanket. The heat of the day still emanates from the fine sand under my feet. I don’t know how long I had been walking when suddenly a voice next to me says, "You've come a long way.” I look over and see Jesus walking beside me. He is tanned, dressed in Tommy Bahama shorts and a sort of old fashioned Hawaiian shirt. His hair is wet and he looks as if he had just taken a swim. “The water is terrific, isn’t it?” he exclaims cheerfully while putting on his Ray Ban sun glasses. My problem, my #1 problem, I realize at that moment, is that I can’t integrate my spiritual life revolving around my relationship with him, with being in the world – really being in it, in relationships, with money, career, this body, my hopes, my dreams, my joys, etc. I somehow think that I can’t have all this here if I really want to be with him. I feel terribly guilty sometimes. So much so that I swear I create my own failure with things here just to tell him, “See, I don’t care so much about the world. I just care about you.”
“That’s a bit silly, don’t you think?” His calm yet firm voice interrupts my thought process. “I have overcome the world. That is why you should be of good cheer. I don’t need martyrs. But I do need teachers. And good ones. The world is in a slump and it needs people that are in it – fully in it. In relationships, in careers, with money and with dreams and hopes and fears. I don’t choose my channels lightly.”
‘Ok, stop talking now so I can process what you said’, I think to myself. “There is no world,” he continues. “So why not enjoy it while you believe that there is one? It is not so serious, you know. There is nothing to do except to accept my love. Your work lies solely in understanding that there is no work for you to do. As long as you think you have work to do, spiritually I mean, you don’t understand me and what I can be to you. I need you to go out there and be happy. I need you to be my ambassador, my agent if you will, my voice, myself. There aren’t that many who can reach me directly. Obviously, those are not the ones who need my help through you. But there are more than enough, more than enough who search for me and have no way of accessing the part of their minds where I abide. So you, my old friend, my loving brother, you are the only way for me to reach some of them and you are the only way for some of them to reach me. You always wanted a purpose in life. You asked for it many times. How is this one for starters? It comes with my total care package as well. You take care of whoever I send to you and in return I’ll take care of you. You can even have a girlfriend. And a house and a car and enough money and whatever it is your heart desires.”
After a little while I realize that he had stopped walking. I stop as well and turn toward him. “Ready?” he says.