The Great Escape (Audio)

Escape from the darkness of our ego mind into the light.

The Great Escape

copyright 2009 by Stefan Bolz

I stand in a large, dark dining hall of what must be a vast, centuries-old castle. There are no tables and I am aware of the worn and ancient stone floor beneath my bare feet. Only seconds after I enter the scene, a large dark-armored knight grabs me, lifts me up by the collar as if I am weightless and pushes me against the wall. His face is distorted and shows utter fury as he screams at me in complete rage. His scream is low and deep and powerful. I know he is about to kill me. Even though there are no words coming out of his mouth, I understand what he is telling me. "You have betrayed us!" "We were there for you and you have betrayed us!" "YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW!!!"

Behind him I see a group of five or six knights wearing the same dark armor. Some of them have faces that look like a distorted version of my own. In fact, they all do. I am absolutely terrified. There is nothing I can do. I feel completely powerless... Until I hear a door bell ringing. Ding Dong. The sound is completely out of place in these ancient halls. It sounds like a regular present day door bell. I look toward the door. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE US NOW!!!!!" The knight screams. And then it occurs to me that all the nights shout different things at me. One of them says, "You are unworthy!" Another shouts, "You should be ashamed of yourself!" Yet another repeats the word "Traitor" over and over again. One whispers, "Never forget, you are the home of evil, darkness and sin!"

I realize now why I am in this great hall. At the other end of it is a massive oak door. I know now that the door leads to the outside. I was about to escape. This is not a castle. It's a prison. And I get the sense that I have been here for eons and eons of time. I also suddenly know who stands outside that door, ringing the door bell. An ancient friend of mine.

The huge knight lets go of me and I slide down the wall onto the floor. The others surround me, each screaming at me, pinning me against the wall with the sheer might of their voices. All I can do is turn my head and look towards the door. 'There is freedom', I think. "NO, THERE IS DEATH!" one of them shouts. "YOU WILL DIE THE MOMENT YOU STEP THROUGH THAT DOOR!" I believed this for too long. Since time began I lived in these halls. Lifetimes ago, as it seems, I lived in a room all the way at the other end of the castle. I slept. I slept for an eternity. And then into the dream came a sound. Unidentifiable at first and I slept for many more centuries until I heard it more clearly: a door bell. The faintest sound of a door bell, it's sweet melody reaching my ears through the thick walls and long hallways of the castle.

In time, I was able to stay up a little longer after each ring before I went back to sleep. I was utterly afraid to open my eyes and once I did, I saw nothing but plain, thick walls surrounding my cell. Years later as it seems, I found the courage to open the door. Fear was my constant companion. I didn't open the door for such a long time mainly because of the promise I made since I fled in here to hide. The promise was simple: never leave this darkened tomb. Never question my 'friends' and never question that I needed to be in here in the first place.

But one day I opened the door and I stepped outside my room into a long hallway. I started to walk and soon lost myself within the labyrinth of passages and hallways that seemed to lead to nowhere. Once in a while I would hear the door bell, faint and distant. Sometimes I thought it was just a memory, too long gone to be remembered. But then, when I had almost forgotten its sweet sound, it rang again.

For the longest time I walked the dark hallways holding on to the smallest bit of hope that I would find my way out one day. And then, suddenly, I found myself in the large dining hall. It's ceiling was at least 80 feet high and it spanned a football field in length. On the other side of it, all the way on the other end was a door. I could see beams of light coming through small gaps in the ancient wood panels. Behind the door was freedom-- "YOU WILL DIE IF YOU LEAVE HERE!" The knight's voice pushes its way into my mind. "STAY WITH US AND YOU ARE SAFE. GO OUTSIDE AND YOU WILL BE ANNIHILATED--"

"No", I say quietly.

Into the silence, following the first word I spoke since time began, into this silence that was more quiet than stillness, the door bell rings again. It's sound echoes through the darkness and into rooms forever hidden from the light.

"I have to go now," I hear myself say. "Too long have I been a prisoner. Too long have I denied a beloved son to a most loving Father. I have to leave this tomb." I feel a strong pull from the door now. I can feel waves of love coming from the outside, radiating through it, enveloping me in its warm embrace. I walk through the hall and through thunderous screams as I look into faces begging me to stay. I cannot. Not anymore.

I reach the door and open it. An ancient friend stands on the other side smiling at me. "I'm glad you could make it this time." "Me too," I say. "Me too." I close the door and the deafening sound is quieted at once. Stillness reaches my mind. Before us, a valley stretches out into infinity. A path extends towards the horizon. A small brook runs happily alongside of it. The sun has just risen in the East. The tall grasses on each side of the path reflect its golden light. I feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted from my chest. I can breathe freely now. The air is fresh and clean and warm and filled with summer's perfume.

Our final journey has just begun.

The Call To Greatness (Audio)

Non-political poem inspired by President Obama's inauguration speech.

The Call To Greatness

copyright 2009 by Stefan Bolz
(Inspired by Barrack Obama's Inauguration Speech)

The call to greatness, ever present
Lifts us up to higher ground
Calls us to our highest purpose
Freedoms' choice, no longer bound

We will meet it either trembling
Or with steady resting hand
For we cannot hide forever
From our destiny’s command

Our oath has not been broken
Our promise 's still our word
From afar, our truth has spoken
All through time has it been heard

Here I stand on ground made holy
By this ancient symphony
As I reach for my own glory
For my Father's company

There, with cold and bloodless fingers
Darkened veil, and evil sense
Grips my throat, my heart and lingers
Fear, employed for my defense

Fear of death has lost its power
And its ever present threat
It is not the great deceiver
But my greatness that I dread

Should I dare to leave my smallness
And my littleness behind
Should I forfeit my own blindness
For a vision that is kind

And then one day, maybe not this day
And maybe not even tomorrow
But one day, I know it for sure, my friend
We will exchange joy for our sorrow

That day will come and it will be the day
When we take a deep breath
And we pick ourselves up
And we dust ourselves off

And with outstretched fingers
We touch the face of God

Ready? (Audio)

A spiritual pep talk from Jesus while walking on the beach.

Ready?

Copyright 2009 by Stefan Bolz
I walk barefoot on a deserted beach along the edge of the water. The sun sits golden on its surface covering it like a blanket. The heat of the day still emanates from the fine sand under my feet. I don’t know how long I had been walking when suddenly a voice next to me says, "You've come a long way.” I look over and see Jesus walking beside me. He is tanned, dressed in Tommy Bahama shorts and a sort of old fashioned Hawaiian shirt. His hair is wet and he looks as if he had just taken a swim. “The water is terrific, isn’t it?” he exclaims cheerfully while putting on his Ray Ban sun glasses. My problem, my #1 problem, I realize at that moment, is that I can’t integrate my spiritual life revolving around my relationship with him, with being in the world – really being in it, in relationships, with money, career, this body, my hopes, my dreams, my joys, etc. I somehow think that I can’t have all this here if I really want to be with him. I feel terribly guilty sometimes. So much so that I swear I create my own failure with things here just to tell him, “See, I don’t care so much about the world. I just care about you.”
“That’s a bit silly, don’t you think?” His calm yet firm voice interrupts my thought process. “I have overcome the world. That is why you should be of good cheer. I don’t need martyrs. But I do need teachers. And good ones. The world is in a slump and it needs people that are in it – fully in it. In relationships, in careers, with money and with dreams and hopes and fears. I don’t choose my channels lightly.”
‘Ok, stop talking now so I can process what you said’, I think to myself. “There is no world,” he continues. “So why not enjoy it while you believe that there is one? It is not so serious, you know. There is nothing to do except to accept my love. Your work lies solely in understanding that there is no work for you to do. As long as you think you have work to do, spiritually I mean, you don’t understand me and what I can be to you. I need you to go out there and be happy. I need you to be my ambassador, my agent if you will, my voice, myself. There aren’t that many who can reach me directly. Obviously, those are not the ones who need my help through you. But there are more than enough, more than enough who search for me and have no way of accessing the part of their minds where I abide. So you, my old friend, my loving brother, you are the only way for me to reach some of them and you are the only way for some of them to reach me. You always wanted a purpose in life. You asked for it many times. How is this one for starters? It comes with my total care package as well. You take care of whoever I send to you and in return I’ll take care of you. You can even have a girlfriend. And a house and a car and enough money and whatever it is your heart desires.”
After a little while I realize that he had stopped walking. I stop as well and turn toward him. “Ready?” he says.